Bassett Hounds, God's idea of a practical joke

By now you've probably figured out that Buddy wasn't my only dog. Buddy you see, also had a best friend of his own. Bogey the Basset Hound. My fondness for Basset Hounds started many years ago. When I was around 8 years old, the local Exxon gas station in town was giving away a stuffed Basset Hound toy with a fill up of 8 gallons of gas. Imagine that...you got something for free with a fill up of gas...and the gas was only .25 cents a gallon. They also gave away Green Stamps. By the way..if you remember Green Stamps, you're getting old. Anyway...my mother got her tank full of regular gas and I got a stuffed Basset Hound named Axelrod. Such a deal. I still have that stuffed Basset Hound even today. Other than his little black nose almost falling off, he's in pretty good shape. Turn the clock ahead about 30+ years and I decided it was time to get a real Basset Hound. My wife Kathleen came home one day thinking she was buying me the dog of my dreams. A little Basset Hound puppy named Bogey. Actually..he was almost 6 months old, not much a puppy at this point. He was the last of the litter. Most people buy the pick of the litter, we got the other end of the deal. For those of you who have never spent much time around a Basset Hound, honestly....there is nothing else like a Basset Hound. They are 100% totally untrainable...at first I thought it was because they are stupid. Years later I've realized it's because I'm stupid. Basset Hounds might be the smartest dog in the world. You can't train them because they don't see any reason why they would want to do what WE want them to do. You don't train a Basset Hound, they train you. Bogey did a wonderful job of training us to get us to do what HE wanted us to do..for his enjoyment, not ours. I feel so stupid...but at least I found out that I'm trainable..My wife Kathleen doesn't think I am..but Bogey thinks he did a good job of training me. There are nights when I sit around my house looking at Bogey. As a designer myself, I often wonder what was God thinking when he designed a Basset Hound. I mean...really..what's with the ears? Do you really need ears that big? Ears aren't supposed to drag on the ground. Name one other animals who's ears touch the floor? Well??? Were those the only ears left in the ear department the day God was working on Basset Hounds? And what happened to the rest of their legs? And those feet? Don't even get me started on the drool...or those droopy eyes. I can't exactly call him ugly..but now I can imagine what Joan Rivers is going to look like when the Botox wears out. Bogey does make me laugh, I just look at him and laugh. The problem is he doesn't get the joke. He takes it personal. He's like a class clown who gets his feeling hurt if you laugh at him..isn't that the point of being a class clown, making people laugh? Bogey is funny only for his own enjoyment..not mine. If his feeling are hurt, he won't even make eye contact with me for hours. Then I feel bad and try to make up with him. Welcome to my life...trying to make up with a funny looking dog who's feelings are hurt because I laughed because his ears are so big that they actually drag on the ground. He's actually tripped on his own ears. You can't make this stuff up. I won't even get into the other private parts issues of male Basset Hounds that also drag on the ground. It looks painful but at the same time I'm also kinda jealous that he has private parts large enough that they drag on the ground. But as I said..Basset Hounds must be God's idea of a practical joke. I hope God's having a good laugh, just don't let Bogey know you're laughing at him. I think the real problem is Bogey doesn't get the joke because he's never actually seen himself in a mirror. Why couldn't my mother had purchased her gas at the Union 76 station instead...they were giving away cool orange antenna balls..oh well...Tomorrow you'll hear the story of Buddy and Bogey...partners in crime.